How does being raised by Gay and Lesbian Parents Effect a Child’s Social-Emotional Development?

Gay and Lesbian Parents
11 mn read


Supporters of same-sex partnerships zealously argue that children do not care whether they have a father and mother, or two men (or two women) grow them. Prophylactic and religious organizations, as well as many psychologists, are shouting that children who have grown up in an atmosphere of homosexual relations will by default be psychologically traumatized and incomplete in life (Marks, 2012). But because the legalization of same-sex partnerships and especially “marriages” began to occur in some countries not so long ago, until recently there were no grounds to make objective scientific conclusions. For a simple reason – the generation of such children has not yet grown.

Analytical Review

In America, around this professor is now going on a kind of bacchanalia. The completely global gay community seems to be offended. Meanwhile, a typical example of a study should not have been conducted, so a hypothesis is an objective. Well, this is about how to conduct a study in many villages on the subject that there is more like drinking vodka or koumiss (Lavner, Waterman & Peplau, 2012). Of course, a child in a gay or lesbian family, even in the most politically correct America, feels “not like everyone else.” Of course, for such children peers are not positive, and they let them know that they are different and that not everyone wants to play with them (Lavner, Waterman & Peplau, 2012). This is a Public Institution, and you cannot overcome it so easily, and, most likely, you will not overcome it at all – since the “gay family” is very different from the usual, habitual, and “normal” – and people tend to treat everything unusual with suspicion. In addition to this – and the child quickly enough against this background begins to perceive himself as “not that,” “different,” “lower grade,” begins to see discrimination even where there is objectively no basis for it. It is possible that such children are gradually beginning to perceive and lower grades for granted.” Here is to you and the decline in academic performance that is the roots of the impending failure (Lavner, Waterman & Peplau, 2012).

Well, if the child is shunned, “blue, blue, do not want to play with you,” and there is no way out – that is the ground for suicide; therefore, everything is logical (Lavner, Waterman & Peplau, 2012). Here is another point: it’s good if the child also has an “unconventional sexual orientation” – then he, at least, is in a comfortable coordinate system: he is not an outcast, from a rogue family, the whole world is against him, but he will show this world! That is, it develops the drive of a good gay activist in it – they “can peacefully” just gnaw their way and become super-successful (especially feeling behind sympathetic and loving “parents”) (Marks, 2012). Moreover, if, God forbid, in such a family, the orientation of the child is normal and heterosexual. Again, this is the standard: how it is bad for a child-gay in an ordinary hetero-family, so, most likely, it is unhealthy for a child-needy in a gay family; although, of course, much depends on the wisdom and tolerance of parents (in both cases). So gay people all around the world took offense as the professor spoke the obvious truth, and it seems that nothing can be done with this (Lavner, Waterman & Peplau, 2012).

In adolescence, many dreams of understanding parents who will be allowed to party or give money for a new tattoo. Not finding support in society and facing peer pressure, they often turn out to be outcasts within their own families. In social networks, there are communities in which psychologists and activists try to support such adolescents, but often parents themselves need qualified help. In the past few years, social networks Facebook and other social networks have appeared groups where initiative moms and dads help each other to find a common language with children after camping out. The Village met with mothers who took the side of the homosexual sons and asked them how to understand and accept their child (Miller, Kors & Macfie, 2017).

Dishonesty lies in the fact that the author of a news note describes only a part of the results and by them makes incorrect conclusions (Farr, 2017). Thus, the world community has for the first time received an authoritative study that sheds light on the tragic consequences of raising children in families where parents practiced homosexual relationships. “This conclusion, like other things in the note, is incorrect. Despite this, the note found a fervent response from opponents of same-sex marriage and the upbringing of their children (Marks, 2012). But let us take a closer look at what science says about the consequences of raising children with homosexual couples (Goldberg & Smith, 2013). A study asked some questions and criticized the review of the APA, which is briefly listed here and criticized about this review and the 59 studies published in the scientific journals on which it is based:

1. Unrepresentative sampling. 77% of 59 studies were conducted on samples not exceeding 100 people. Most of these studies were conducted on white Caucasians, well-educated middle class. At the same time, the homosexual part of the population is much more diverse.

2. Only 33 studies contain comparisons with heterosexual groups, and in 26 studies, same-sex parents are not compared with heterosexuals (Lavner, Waterman & Peplau, 2012).

3. In 13 out of 33 studies comparing unisexual parents with heterosexuals, single/diluted heterosexual parents (more often women) were used as a comparison group. In the remaining 20 studies, the type of family is not always clearly characterized (Farr, 2017).

4. The results of the six studies that have the largest samples are based solely on parents’ self-reports and include information about the children themselves. At the same time, a comparison of the cognitive development of children, which was based on the teacher and not by the parents, showed several significant differences between hetero- and homosexual families. Namely, children raised by heterosexual couples have higher academic and social achievements.

5. In these studies, mainly gender consequences are analyzed, and many social aspects of child development are not considered. Such social deviations as excessive consumption of alcohol, drugs, and absenteeism, and criminal offenses are not analyzed. At the same time, existing studies of these aspects did not fall into the list of 59 studies.

6. In these studies, the potential long-term effects that may occur after the child becomes an adult (poverty, crime, education, income, suicide, early onset of sexual activity, early pregnancy, etc.) are practically not analyzed (Goldberg & Smith, 2013).

The family was classified as homosexual if the respondent noted that before reaching the age of 18, his father or mother at least once had a romantic relationship with a man of the same sex. Thus, the results of this study suggest that children brought up by parents who had the experience of same-sex relationships differ in some respects from children raised in traditional families. And the children of lesbian mothers are more powerful than the children of gay fathers. Of the 239 possible differences between the groups, 44 (18% of the total number of possible lesbians) are children of lesbian mothers, while the children of gay fathers have only 24 (10% of the total number of possible) (Farr, 2017). However, these results also suggest that children raised in other types of families also differ from children from traditional families. First, we are talking about families in which biological parents have never been married, or divorced, remarried, as well as incomplete families with one parent. In other words, a traditional full family is usually better, any other. But whether the child will be worse in a same-sex family than in a divorced, single-parent family, is still a question (Marks, 2012). Returning to the result of five studies reviewed for this research; in principle, it has been found that research corresponds to the authors of the recommendations and it compares, according to some social, economic, and psychological indicators, several types of families, such as a traditional family with biological fathers and mothers (Lavner, Waterman & Peplau, 2012).

Since the theme of same-sex marriages and their right to raise children is extremely ambiguous, research in this field attracted special attention and was viewed from a scientific point of view very closely. Especially cautious can be acquainted with the results of the detailed methodological analysis of this study. The reviewers did not find anything highly criminal and noted the compliance of the research with scientific standards. Well, the picture will not be complete if you are not acquainted with alternative opinions and interpretations of the results (Goldberg & Smith, 2013). Here are briefly several alternative options for a meaningful interpretation of the differences found:

1. The results of the research show that children who have homosexual parents are more likely to experience a divorce situation (Lavner, Waterman & Peplau, 2012). Therefore, perhaps this (and not the sexual orientation of their parents) is responsible for the differences found.

2. On average, women earn less than men do, so the welfare of children of lesbian mothers may be less than. Children of homosexual parents are more difficult because there are prejudices, negative attitudes, and even discrimination against gays and lesbians in society (Farr, 2017).


The key phrase here was that children with a normal orientation are uncomfortable in a same-sex family and vice versa. People certainly do not support the adoption of children by same-sex families. The child should have normal parents, a father, and a mother. To all those who disagree with it, there will be given a weighty argument. Nature is laid down so that there is a woman and a man nearby; they will be able to conceive and raise a child. The mother will be able to feed him with milk; the father will get food for the family, etc. So it was from the very beginning of the appearance of humankind. In addition, if two gays, for example, get on an uninhabited island, then they cannot reproduce this time, and even if they somehow have a baby, they will not feed it two. You can argue with me as much as you like, but you cannot deceive nature.

High level of venereal infection: In the published data, it is reported that 25% of homosexual parents had or have sexually transmitted diseases – because of their specific way of life. For comparison, the number of infected peers from affluent, heterosexual families is fixed at 8%. Failure to keep family loyalty and here is the reason for this level of infection. Those who were brought up by homosexual parents are much more likely to be treated with adultery – 40%. A similar indicator of loyalty to betrayal among those who grew up in heterosexual families is 13%.

Psychological problems arise in children, and the next shocking fact is that up to 24% of adult children from same-sex “families” recently planned suicide. For comparison, the level of such sentiments among those raised in normal heterosexual families is 5%. Raised by a homosexual parent, people are much more likely than heterosexual families to go to psychotherapists – 19% versus 8%.

This is not surprising. After all, 31% who grew up with a lesbian mom and 25% who grew up with a homosexual father were ever forced to have sex contrary to their will (including by their parents). In the case of heterosexual families, only 8% of respondents report this. Socio-economic helplessness: 28% of immigrants from families where the mother was a lesbian are unemployed. Among those who come from normal families, this level is only 8%.

69% of those with whom the mother was a lesbian, and 57% of those with whom the pope was homosexual, reported that their family in the past received state benefits. Among ordinary families, this is relevant in 17% of cases. And 38% of those who grew up with a lesbian mom still live on state benefits, and only 26% have full-time jobs. Among those whose father was homosexual, only 34% now have a full-time job. For comparison, among those who grew up in heterosexual families only 10% live in state welfare, and a half – are employed for full-time.

Disorder of sexual self-identification: And finally – the figures, which finally destroys the myth that education in the same-sex “family” does not affect the sexual orientation of the adult child. So, if the father or mother had homosexual relationships, only 60-70% of their children call themselves completely heterosexual. In turn, more than 90% of people who grew up in a traditional family, identify them as completely heterosexual.


Marks, L. (2012). Same-sex parenting and children’s outcomes: A closer examination of the American psychological association is brief on lesbian and gay parenting. Social Science Research, 41(4), 735–751.

In 2005, the American Psychological Association (APA) issued an official brief on lesbian and gay child-rearing. This short incorporated the statement: “Not a solitary report has discovered offspring of lesbian or gay guardians to be burdened in any critical regard with respect to offspring of hetero guardians” (p. 15). The present article nearly inspects this affirmation and the 59 distributed examinations referred to by the APA to help it. Seven focal inquiries address: (1) homogeneous examining, (2) nonappearance of examination gatherings, (3) correlation bunch attributes, (4) opposing information, (5) the restricted extent of youngsters’ results considered, (6) scarcity of long haul result information, and (7) absence of APA-encouraged factual power. The conclusion is that solid attestations, including those made by the APA, were not observationally justified. Suggestions for future research are advertised.

Farr, R. H. (2017). Does parental sexual orientation matter? A longitudinal follow-up of adoptive families with school-age children. Developmental Psychology, 53(2), 252-264. Doi:10.1037/dev0000228

Controversy continues to surround parenting by lesbian and gay (LG) adults and outcomes for their children. As sexual minority parents increasingly adopt children, longitudinal research about child development, parenting, and family relationships is crucial for informing such debates. In the psychological literature, family systems theory contends that children’s healthy development depends upon healthy family functioning more so than family structure. From the framework of family stress theory, it was expected that longitudinal outcomes for school-age children adopted in infancy could be distinct among those with same-sex versus other-sex parents (N = 96 families). Similar findings were hypothesized in terms of parent adjustment, couple of relationships, and family functioning in comparing same-sex and other-sex parent families. Results indicated that adjustment among children, parents, and couples, as well as family functioning, were not different based on parental sexual orientation (lesbian, gay, or heterosexual) when children were school age. Rather, children’s behavior problems and family functioning during middle childhood were predicted by earlier child adjustment issues and parenting stress. These findings are consistent with and extend previous literature about families headed by LG parents, particularly those that have adopted children. The results have implications for advancing supportive policies, practices, and laws related to adoption and parenting by sexual minority adults. (PsycINFO Database Record

Goldberg, A. E., & Smith, J. Z. (2013). Predictors of psychological adjustment in early placed adopted children with lesbian, gay, and heterosexual parents. Journal of Family Psychology, 27(3), 431-442. Doi:10.1037/a0032911

Little research has focused on predictors of psychological adjustment among early placed adopted children. Additionally, the research on adopted children in lesbian or gay parent-families is sparse. The current study examined 40 female same-sex, 35 male same-sex, and 45 different-sex parent families with adopted children, all of whom were placed in their adoptive homes under the age of 18 months. We explored aspects of children’s pre-adoptive and post-adoptive contexts (measured at 3 months post-placement) in relation to children’s externalizing and internalizing symptoms (measured at 2 years postplacement; M age = 2.33 years). Findings revealed that lack of parental preparation for the adoption, and parental depressive symptoms, were associated with higher parent-reported levels of both externalizing and internalizing symptoms. Additionally, parents’ relationship conflict was associated with higher levels of parent- and partner-reported internalizing symptoms. Children’s adjustment outcomes did not differ by family type. Our findings point to the importance of considering the adoptive family context (including parent and couple subsystems) in predicting later adjustment in early placed adopted children, in diverse family contexts. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2013 APA, all rights reserved).

Lavner, J. A., Waterman, J., & Peplau, L. A. (2012). Can gay and lesbian parents promote healthy development in high-risk children adopted from foster care?. American Journal Of Orthopsychiatry, 82(4), 465-472. doi:10.1111/j.1939-0025.2012.01176.x

Adoption is known to promote cognitive and emotional development in children from foster care, but policy debates remain regarding whether children adopted by gay and lesbian parents can achieve these positive outcomes. This study compared the cognitive development and behavior problems at 2, 12, and 24 months postplacement of 82 high-risk children adopted from foster care in heterosexual and gay or lesbian households. On average, children in both household types showed significant gains in cognitive development and maintained similar levels of behavior problems over time, despite gay and lesbian parents raising children with higher levels of biological and environmental risks prior to adoptive placement. Results demonstrated that high-risk children show similar patterns of development over time in heterosexual and gay and lesbian adoptive households.

Miller, B. G., Kors, S., & Macfie, J. (2017). No differences? Meta-analytic comparisons of psychological adjustment in children of gay fathers and heterosexual parents. Psychology Of Sexual Orientation And Gender Diversity, 4(1), 14-22. doi:10.1037/sgd0000203

The field of literature on gay male parenting is small, especially compared to the number of studies on lesbian parenting. No meta-analysis has specifically compared the children of gay fathers to the children of heterosexual parents nor has any meta-analysis applied the newly developed quality-effects model to this field of research. The current study applied the fixed effects, random effects, and quality-effects models of meta-analysis to 10 studies (35 standardized mean differences) from the past 10 years to evaluate child psychological adjustment by parent sexual orientation. Studies both within and outside of the United States with a range of child ages and sample sizes were included. The quality-effects model of meta-analysis helps mitigate error caused by methodological differences in studies in addition to random error attributed to small sample sizes, making it the most appropriate model for this study. Although the quality-effects model provided results closest to our hypothesis that there would be no difference, results indicated that children of gay fathers had significantly better outcomes than did children of heterosexual parents in all 3 models of meta-analysis. These results may be attributable to potential higher socioeconomic status for gay fathers traditionally associated with dual-earner households, better preparedness for fatherhood in the face of strong antigay stigma directed at same-sex families, and more egalitarian parenting roles. Limitations and implications of the study are discussed. Public Significance Statement Results suggest that children of gay fathers have better outcomes than do children of heterosexual couples. As an early study in a growing field, the current study highlights the need for further research in areas such as parental preparation, family support resources, and nontraditional family types.

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